I am dragging my bed down the back stairs. Damn this bed is heavy and I am sweating like mad. Not far to go now, I just have to get it to the end of the garden where the rest of my bedroom furniture is sitting.
I wonder what people will think when they arrive and will they dig in my cupboard and scratch in my stuff?
I wonder what sort of people will arrive anyway, yes some of my friends are here already but I have told everyone to spread the word.
Someone pulls into my road, parks and starts unloading things onto the road.
Stranger Things Have Happened
I’m sitting on my bed having a smoke watching, wondering where he is going with all that equipment.
“I just wanted to smoke my cigarette and run”
He picks something up, it looks like a big speaker. He opens the side gate and walks up the path. He asks me where the lounge is.
Stranger things have happened, so I tell him to just walk in straight ahead and he will walk into the lounge.
I am satisfied that I have pushed all my things as far as possible into the furthest corner of the garden.
As a last resort to try and protect the things I turn my cupboard so the doors are right up against the hedge. If anyone wants to get in they will at least have to put a bit of effort in.
People Asked Me For A Drink
I go inside and head into my bedroom, open the fridge and grab a beer.
The guy in the lounge asks if it is fine for him to attach a disco ball to the ceiling and I say yeah that sounds great.
Since he is in my lounge with some huge ass speakers and a sparkly disco ball I bet he is a DJ. I have no idea who asked him to come but this does add a nice touch.
More people start arriving and asking me where they can put things and where they can get a drink. I take them to the bar… in my bedroom and sell them some drinks.
Yes, I know it is illegal to just set up a bar in your bedroom and sell liquor to people that come to your party but it is not like I have ever stuck to the rules.
I wonder who all these people are. Seriously my house is packed and it looks like they are all University students.
Where Do They All Come From?
Yes University duh, but how did they all know to come to my house. I know I told my friends to spread the word but this is insane!
Nevermind really, they are buying all the booze and seem to be having a grand old time. And I was worried this weekend would be boring.
My tenant comes in looking rather worried and asks what is going on so I put on a big smile and tell him well you know, a party!
He looks most unimpressed so I guess I must have forgotten to tell him. I hope nobody is in his room. I suddenly remember my furniture on the lawn and wonder how my things are faring.
I go for a wander and there must be over 200 people at my house.
The big downside to this is that all the bathrooms are occupied so I have to try and discreetly snarf my coke off of the mantlepiece in my bedroom.
Because the place is so packed only a handful of people notice and who gives a shit anyway, these are Varsity students right?
I go back to my station behind the bar. Bob #1 comes up, the son of a friend of my dad, and he looks amazed to see me.
Oh my god, this is not good. I hope I don’t have white powder dusted on my nostrils.
I haven’t seen him or his family in years but our parents are still pals. He seems very surprised to see me and asks what I am doing here. I tell him he is in my bedroom.
So Bob #1 is gone and I’m handing out drinks.
I Throw Cocaine Into The Steel Bathtub
I think I must’ve pushed myself too far, I am hallucinating for sure.
I can see cops coming in the door. Not normal cops. These look like a swat team from the movies. All dressed in black, bulletproof vests and huge guns.
I hit the ground. It is just instinct, hallucinations, or not there is a shit load of very serious-looking armed men swooping into my house.
I take my cocaine and I throw it into the steel bathtub which is filled with ice, water, and beers.
I take a chance and just like in the movies I army crawl my way out of my room, out the back door, down the stairs, and into the garden.
I am so sure that at any moment I am going to be stopped.
The end of the garden is the darkest place, so that’s where I race with my heart pounding. I push myself into the hedge right to the back.
There must be so many creepy crawlies and spiders in there but I am shitting myself so I wiggle in as far as I can go.
What The Hell Is Going On
Suddenly the music stops and it is only at that moment when everything is so quiet that I realize how loud the music had been. I didn’t even notice when the music started but now that it is gone I miss how my body was vibrating with it.
In the quiet voices drift down the garden to me. The cops are asking who owns the house, who is throwing this party.
Thankfully nobody seems to know me, just like I don’t know who they are.
The place is crawling with cops and at any moment I am sure they are going to find me hiding in the hedge.
If they do find me here, they will know for sure I am guilty of something.
Normal people don’t hide in hedges at parties.
To while away my time I start thinking of things I could possibly tell them to cover my ass if they do find me.
After about an hour I start getting fidgety. This is no fun at all.
I am getting cold and I want a big fat line of coke. I wish these cops would just do what they need to do and leave. Cops have never stayed for this long before.
Deep down in my mind, something tells me that there is something wrong in my life, that I am out of control. I could be in some deep trouble here.
This is not a nice thought so I try and peer through the leaves to see what is happening instead.
I don’t think I will have to wait much longer, things look much quieter so perhaps they are on their way out.
On the bright side of being in the hedge, I can keep a really close eye on my cupboard. It is really important to look on the bright side in any situation and this is one of my strong points.
I can look at a situation like this with a positive mind. There is always a gift right?
It feels like I have been hiding in that hedge all night but the coast is now clear. I wiggle myself out and head up to the house.
I go straight to the bath of ice water and stick my hand in, hoping and praying that my cocaine is still there and that I can still use it.
My hand is numb from the ice and I feel the glass vial that my cocaine is in and I pull it out with much glee and happiness.
Bob #2 comes in and stops dead in his tracks when he sees me.
I realize that there aren’t many people left and suddenly I seem to know everyone. What the fuck happened?
Bob #2 tells me he was so worried about me, he managed to slip out the front door and hide down the road when the cops arrived.
Apparently People In The House Were Searched By The Cops For Drugs.
It seems that was a bit of a party pooper for the University students, it looks like they don’t know how to continue to party after a small set back.
On the bright side, without hundreds of University youngsters in my home, I can now talk to my friends.
It also helps that the DJ has also fled so it is nice and quiet.
We continue to party on, like the die-hard partiers we are.
We have such a good laugh at all these kids being searched and wonder how on earth 200 hundred Varsity students landed up at our party.
Nobody knows who the DJ was.
The sun is coming up and we head outside. There is a nitrous oxide gas tank lying outside with a pack of balloons lying next to it.
Bonus, I wonder where that came from? This is my first time trying out hippie crack and we start to have balloon races.
This is when you fill the balloons with nitrous oxide and everyone sucks the gas in and then you all run and see who makes it the furthest.
I’m Running Out Of Cigarettes
If you don’t know what nitrous oxide is, well it is laughing gas and if you run, you pass out…. while laughing.
The gas bottle does not seem to last long but the sky is starting to get lighter.
I’m running out of cigarettes and my car is giving me trouble yet again. The shop around the corner must be opening now so I tell my friends I am just off to grab some smokes.
I leave on foot, dressed in jeans and a summer top with no shoes. I have R20 on me, just enough for my smokes. No wallet, bank cards, bag, or house keys.
The plan is to walk less than 1 kilometer to the shop and back. I did get to the shop and I did buy my smokes.
Then everything goes a bit fuzzy.
I make it back to my house and 2 days have passed.
Jane is there and she gives me a very strange look.
I have snatches of memories of the last few days but nothing concrete.
A big guy in a strange house and a pile of cocaine on a glass table…
Shooters at a club in town…
I still have the same clothes on that I left in.
I am still barefoot but I have two boxes of cigarettes now which is really nice.
I don’t know where they came from.
Jane asks me what I was thinking just disappearing like that with nobody being able to contact me. They were thinking of calling the cops except that people kept spotting me at clubs and pubs…
I brush it off and make a joke about it, she’s too serious you know?
You only live once and I’m just going through a bit of a partying patch.
Something deep within me stirs and starts to bother me. I’m not 18 anymore, I’m in my mid-twenties. I’ve been partying like this for over 10 years.
I take a look at Jane and I start to see the truth in her eyes.
It is mid-morning and I have not slept in days. I cut myself a big line of coke and pour myself a shot of booze.
This helps me feel better.
I Can Feel Myself Fading Into Unconsciousness
The feeling of panic and of being out of control starts ebbing away. I pour us both another shot of booze and start making light of everything.
We are now laughing about the cops and the poor kids being searched, how scared they must have been.
I notice someone has brought my bedroom furniture back into the house, that was kind of them. I hope nothing is missing.
I can feel myself fading into unconsciousness and as I do I hear my tenant saying something to Jane but thankfully I can’t make out a word he is saying so I don’t have the face anything now.