When I started writing this story someone I greatly respect said that he would love to know where it all started.
What Triggered My Addiction Off?
What triggered my addiction off? He said there had to have been a traumatic event. Yes, he is right. There were actually a series of events in my teen years that triggered off my addiction.
I have covered this all on my website where I blog about addiction and recovery. I also did a Youtube video.
I don’t want to fill this blog, writing that same story that you can go and read on my website. So if you are interested then please go and visit my website for details.
I Lost My Life
To sum it up simply when I was fourteen years old I was struggling with a few things. Of course, all the typical teenage hormones and difficulties that come at that age.
In addition, I had to deal with cruel, humiliating, and untrue rumors at school about me, and with my parents hearing about these awful things.
I was then raped, losing my virginity.
A few months later I was raped again.
The Reason Behind My Addiction
After the second rape, everything went pear-shaped. I started off by cutting myself. Then I started drinking. I also started acting out in various inappropriate ways.
Is this the reason I became an addict?
No, I don’t believe so and when you read this blog the reason will probably become clear to you.
It did spark things off but I don’t believe it was the cause.
Another theme that is very common in addiction and alcoholism is unhealthy and abusive relationships and I followed the typical pattern.
“Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic is alcohol, morphine, or idealism.” ― Carl Gustav Jung
I Became Addicted To The Drug
Drugs followed shortly after and when this happened my life spun even more out of control. I had debt problems, run-ins with the law, and many more unpleasant experiences.
One of the biggest challenges an addict faces is denial.
No-one can get clean when they don’t believe they have a problem and they don’t need help.
In treatment for addiction, one of the big focuses is what they call “powerlessness and damages”.
It is what helps an addict to see that they have a problem.
My Worst Cases Of Powerlessness
This blog is not intended to be a collection of war stories. It is actually a collection of some of my worst cases of powerlessness and damages.
If you are not an addict or an alcoholic know that I have written this blog with as much honesty as I can and I have tried to convey exactly how I was feeling at the time.
So let’s play a game while you read my story, ok?
Pretend you are in a fantasy world where any craziness is possible, even someone being in complete denial when the truth is smacking them on the head with a sledgehammer.
Try and put yourself into my shoes as you read my story.
Try and believe that my helplessness and confusion is not only possible but completely true.
Imagine feeling that level of fear or humiliation.
I Am Clean For 8 Years
If you are an addict in recovery or in active addiction I am sure you will relate to everything in this story in some way.
If you are an addict in active addiction, know that I am clean for 8 years now.
I am living a life in recovery and it is a beautiful life with so much joy.
When you are finished reading this blog know that if I could go through all this and get clean there is only one thing standing in your way.
That is yourself. Make your decision to change your life and get help.
If you want this but you feel helpless and overwhelmed, it starts with a simple step.
Reaching out for help.